I have been sick since Sunday. I don't get sick very often, which is a surprise considering I do not eat nearly enough vegetables and I drink an average of eight beers per day. I think the alcohol kills the germs. Anyway, a byproduct of not getting sick very often is not knowing much about how my body reacts to being sick, how to treat my sickness (what do you mean, three glasses of hot whiskey is not the recommended treatment?), or anything about getting better. Usually I just wake up one day and feel fine. So today, Vanessa asked me how I was feeling, and I told her, "I can't tell if I feel any better."
So my question is, is that possible? Is it possible to not be able to tell if you feel any better? Because I would think that if I felt either the same or worse I would be able to tell very easily. I mean, if I say I can't tell if i feel any better, I must feel better because it would be easy to tell if I didn't feel better, and really easy to tell if I felt worse. Right?
There is a definite possibility that I am so fucked up on both Day-and-Ny-Quil that I have lost all sense of what is going on around me. It's been a pretty intense 72 hour Quil bender. I was sent home from work this morning because, apparently, some of the members at my club find it off-putting when golf professionals amble around the premises, casually swigging DayQuil.
Anyway, if any of you can tell me how I feel, I would appreciate it.
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I read this while sitting next to Drew and your post made me laugh a little. Drew looked over and said, "Is Jamo funny?" I said yes and he said, "funny looking." So maybe that's your problem. Lay off the Quil...get a haircut or something. Or, I hear that beer can do wonders for your skin and hair. Rather than drinking 8 a day, drink 6. Mix one into your bath water and the other with an egg and put it in your hair.
ReplyDeleteBeer, it does a body good.
You feel using your skin, it is the largest organ in the human body. Unless you cover your entire skin in X-Quil, you should still be able to feel things. My guess is that you might not be able to process what you feel because of large doses of X-Quil.
ReplyDeleteEither way, it doesn't matter how you feel, it is how you look. And you are looking FINE.
I had a girlfriend like that once?
ReplyDeletePersonally I find that sloshing saltwater through my sinuses makes me feel horrible, and then later when I'm not doing it I feel much better and try to ride that wave. Once I zapped them with some microwaves along the same principle. Watch out for sweaty knees, it's a common side effect of the Quil and it means you're about to grow a bunch of hair there which is a bitch because, really, who sells knee hair combs these days?
K2-
ReplyDeleteI am currently marketing a full line of knee hair products for all of your knee hair needs. Contact me and I'll send you a brochure.
Thanks, everyone. This has been supremely unhelpful. Without question, this is the last time I solicit medical advice via my personal blog.
ReplyDeleteSo are you healthy yet?
ReplyDelete