While pedaling slowly up a hill, I spot a couple in their late twenties having an animated conversation by their car. As I pedal by, the following transpires:
Him: [mumbling] sucks [mumbling] thought I'd have some help . . .
Her: Well that was fucking stupid.
Jamo: Hey! That's not Christmas language! Christ died for those sins!
Her: Mind your own fucking business.
Jamo: [in my most Santa-like voice] HO-HO-HOOOOOOOO! MEEEERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!
Jamo: [continues to pedal away]
And a Merry Christmas to you too, dear readers. All three of you.
12.24.2008
12.22.2008
Steelers - Titans
People be freaking out, yo! For real, I can't remember so many people losing their minds over one loss. The Post-Gazette sports section reads like the day after a playoff loss. ESPN's website proclaimed that the Titans "dominated" and "manhandled" the Steelers. Maybe, to some extent, there was some manhandling, but I'm not totally convinced. Seemed more like "aggressive shoving" to me. I think it is important to think about 31-14 from the perspective of how we got there, and maybe what we learned in the process.
First, the "manhandling." Allow your minds to bask in the following factual numerical expressions:
First downs: Pittsburgh -- 23. Tennessee -- 16
Total yards: Pittsburgh -- 374. Tennessee -- 323
Pass yards: Pittsburgh -- 303. Tennessee -- 206
Rush yards: Pittsburgh -- 71. Tennessee -- 117
3rd downs : Pittsburgh -- 6/13. Tennessee -- 3/14 (!)
Possession : Pittsburgh -- 30:51. Tennessee -- 29:09
I don't know, brah. Doesn't seem like a "manhandling" to me.
The offensive line was particularly bad. They're typically no good, but they got blown off the ball just about every play. It seemed like every time Parker got the ball he was having to dodge at least one Titan who was already two yards behind the line of scrimmage. The defense, who have been amazing all year long at tackling, especially in the open field, couldn't wrap up anyone. I was amazed to see Ike Taylor get juked into next year by Chris Johnson on Tennessee's 4th and 1 touchdown run in the third quarter. That's a tackle Ike (and everyone else) has been making all season.
There is just no way Ben has a game that bad again this year. Four fumbles (two lost) two interceptions. When he wasn't fucking around getting sacked and throwing picks, he was brilliant (26-40, 331, 2TD). He's a high risk player, but the risks he takes lead to more good than bad. Yesterday was one of those days where every time he tried to make something happen, disaster struck. But this is what you get with Roethlisberger. Some weeks he scrambles around, dives for first downs, avoids blitzes and makes plays happen that win the Steelers games. Sometimes everything goes wrong. Still, there isn't anyone I would rather have.
The number of missed opportunities blow my mind. Ben's fumble on third and goal in the first quarter (3 points). Reed's missed field goal (3 points, and you could make a realistic case that Tomlin's tragically inept clock management at the end of that half had as much to do with that. There's no reason they didn't have at least one shot at the end zone there). The muffed punt by Chris Carr early in the third quarter that the Steelers couldn't come up with. The inexplicable decision by someone on the defensive line to simulate the cadence during the Titans' field-goal attempt late in the third quarter. That penalty wasted a great stand by the defense and cost them four more points. That's 10 points, also known as the exact amount they were losing by when they got the ball back late in the fourth quarter.
At some point I am left believing that they were simply out of gas. Their schedule has been brutal and heavily backweighted. They pulled off three consecutive wins prior to this week's shitshow that were absolutely championship quality. The defense played a solid game, but didn't make any big plays. Only one sack, and no other really memorable plays. Kerry Collins isn't that good, it was just that for the first time this year the Steelers weren't able to put pressure on the quarterback. Don't get me wrong, Tennessee is a good team with an exceptional offensive line, but the Kerry Collins Justin Gage combo isn't nearly as good as Cassel-Moss or Romo-Owens. But it's easy to look good when Silverback and Woodley can't get off the edge. I think they were just exhausted after having to bail out the offense three weeks in a row to win the division.
So, in a way I am glad they lost. This means next week's game doesn't mean anything, so they can work on getting some people healthy and getting some rest. They have three weeks to regroup and get pissed off at themselves just in time for the playoffs. I love it.
The only thing that I am really concerned about is their inability to run the ball. They're absolutely horrible at it. It is mindblowing that a team that good can be quite so bad at gaining yards on the ground. If they can't get it together in three weeks, it's going to kill them. The defense is too balls out to be on the field 30 minutes per game. It's up to the offense to move the ball on the ground to keep the clock running and let the defense rest. And if they get late into the game with a lead, it's crucial that they consume the clock. It's gonna be too cold in January to be throwing the ball 40 times per game.
First, the "manhandling." Allow your minds to bask in the following factual numerical expressions:
First downs: Pittsburgh -- 23. Tennessee -- 16
Total yards: Pittsburgh -- 374. Tennessee -- 323
Pass yards: Pittsburgh -- 303. Tennessee -- 206
Rush yards: Pittsburgh -- 71. Tennessee -- 117
3rd downs : Pittsburgh -- 6/13. Tennessee -- 3/14 (!)
Possession : Pittsburgh -- 30:51. Tennessee -- 29:09
I don't know, brah. Doesn't seem like a "manhandling" to me.
The offensive line was particularly bad. They're typically no good, but they got blown off the ball just about every play. It seemed like every time Parker got the ball he was having to dodge at least one Titan who was already two yards behind the line of scrimmage. The defense, who have been amazing all year long at tackling, especially in the open field, couldn't wrap up anyone. I was amazed to see Ike Taylor get juked into next year by Chris Johnson on Tennessee's 4th and 1 touchdown run in the third quarter. That's a tackle Ike (and everyone else) has been making all season.
There is just no way Ben has a game that bad again this year. Four fumbles (two lost) two interceptions. When he wasn't fucking around getting sacked and throwing picks, he was brilliant (26-40, 331, 2TD). He's a high risk player, but the risks he takes lead to more good than bad. Yesterday was one of those days where every time he tried to make something happen, disaster struck. But this is what you get with Roethlisberger. Some weeks he scrambles around, dives for first downs, avoids blitzes and makes plays happen that win the Steelers games. Sometimes everything goes wrong. Still, there isn't anyone I would rather have.
The number of missed opportunities blow my mind. Ben's fumble on third and goal in the first quarter (3 points). Reed's missed field goal (3 points, and you could make a realistic case that Tomlin's tragically inept clock management at the end of that half had as much to do with that. There's no reason they didn't have at least one shot at the end zone there). The muffed punt by Chris Carr early in the third quarter that the Steelers couldn't come up with. The inexplicable decision by someone on the defensive line to simulate the cadence during the Titans' field-goal attempt late in the third quarter. That penalty wasted a great stand by the defense and cost them four more points. That's 10 points, also known as the exact amount they were losing by when they got the ball back late in the fourth quarter.
At some point I am left believing that they were simply out of gas. Their schedule has been brutal and heavily backweighted. They pulled off three consecutive wins prior to this week's shitshow that were absolutely championship quality. The defense played a solid game, but didn't make any big plays. Only one sack, and no other really memorable plays. Kerry Collins isn't that good, it was just that for the first time this year the Steelers weren't able to put pressure on the quarterback. Don't get me wrong, Tennessee is a good team with an exceptional offensive line, but the Kerry Collins Justin Gage combo isn't nearly as good as Cassel-Moss or Romo-Owens. But it's easy to look good when Silverback and Woodley can't get off the edge. I think they were just exhausted after having to bail out the offense three weeks in a row to win the division.
So, in a way I am glad they lost. This means next week's game doesn't mean anything, so they can work on getting some people healthy and getting some rest. They have three weeks to regroup and get pissed off at themselves just in time for the playoffs. I love it.
The only thing that I am really concerned about is their inability to run the ball. They're absolutely horrible at it. It is mindblowing that a team that good can be quite so bad at gaining yards on the ground. If they can't get it together in three weeks, it's going to kill them. The defense is too balls out to be on the field 30 minutes per game. It's up to the offense to move the ball on the ground to keep the clock running and let the defense rest. And if they get late into the game with a lead, it's crucial that they consume the clock. It's gonna be too cold in January to be throwing the ball 40 times per game.
12.09.2008
Quick Question for You
I have been sick since Sunday. I don't get sick very often, which is a surprise considering I do not eat nearly enough vegetables and I drink an average of eight beers per day. I think the alcohol kills the germs. Anyway, a byproduct of not getting sick very often is not knowing much about how my body reacts to being sick, how to treat my sickness (what do you mean, three glasses of hot whiskey is not the recommended treatment?), or anything about getting better. Usually I just wake up one day and feel fine. So today, Vanessa asked me how I was feeling, and I told her, "I can't tell if I feel any better."
So my question is, is that possible? Is it possible to not be able to tell if you feel any better? Because I would think that if I felt either the same or worse I would be able to tell very easily. I mean, if I say I can't tell if i feel any better, I must feel better because it would be easy to tell if I didn't feel better, and really easy to tell if I felt worse. Right?
There is a definite possibility that I am so fucked up on both Day-and-Ny-Quil that I have lost all sense of what is going on around me. It's been a pretty intense 72 hour Quil bender. I was sent home from work this morning because, apparently, some of the members at my club find it off-putting when golf professionals amble around the premises, casually swigging DayQuil.
Anyway, if any of you can tell me how I feel, I would appreciate it.
So my question is, is that possible? Is it possible to not be able to tell if you feel any better? Because I would think that if I felt either the same or worse I would be able to tell very easily. I mean, if I say I can't tell if i feel any better, I must feel better because it would be easy to tell if I didn't feel better, and really easy to tell if I felt worse. Right?
There is a definite possibility that I am so fucked up on both Day-and-Ny-Quil that I have lost all sense of what is going on around me. It's been a pretty intense 72 hour Quil bender. I was sent home from work this morning because, apparently, some of the members at my club find it off-putting when golf professionals amble around the premises, casually swigging DayQuil.
Anyway, if any of you can tell me how I feel, I would appreciate it.
12.04.2008
Pierogies! Steelers!
The above picture is what my freezer now looks like. It's full of twelve boxes of Mrs. T's Pierogies. The GF, sick of hearing me lament the tribulations of living a life devoid of these doughy treats, ordered twelve boxes of what I call "the worlds most perfect food" to shut me up. I am now the proud owner of potato and cheddar, potato and four cheese blend, potato cheddar and bacon, and potato cheddar and jalapeno, pierogies. This is, without question, the greatest gift I have ever received.
That Steeler win last week was definitely the sweetest since Super Bowl XL. At this point, their defense is strong enough that even with their mediocre (at best) offense, they have a shot to go deep in the playoffs. I think it's going to come down to Ben. As long as he doesn't turn it over, they're going to be alright. In the nine games they have won, Ben has 12 touchdowns, 4 interceptions, and 1 fumble. In the three games they have lost, Ben has 1 touchdown, 8 interceptions, and 2 fumbles.
I like the Steelers' chances against the Cowboys this weekend. The forecast is for something like 25 and snowy at kickoff, which is not what the warm-weather, speed-oriented Cowboys want to see. A few weeks ago, people were talking about the Cowboys' offensive line as being possibly the worst in the league (when they lost to the Cardinals, Rams (!), and Giants over a four-game stretch), but now, after beating the Niners and the Seahawks, they're one of the best in the league. Please. Silverback is going to own those suckers (especially if the NFL decides to ever call a holding penalty on the guy who is blocking him, EVER). T.O. is gonna get his clock cleaned by Ryan Clark in the first quarter and mail it in the rest of the way. The only way I see the Steelers losing this weekend (or any other weekend) is if they beat themselves. Just don't turn it over, score 21 points, and win. It ain't that hard.
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