Sarah Palin

I don't think anyone has any idea who this woman is. Apparently she's from Alaska, and is an up-do enthusiast:













Yeah, baby.
















My guess is McCain and his people started freaking out when they realized that Obama's campaign became exponentially more versatile when Joe Biden joined the ticket. This added experience to Obama's youthful change platform, balancing his campaign nicely.

I don't know anything about this woman, and she might be well qualified and prepared to be VP, but I have to believe that she wouldn't have even been on McCain's list of possible running mates had Hilary won the nomination. And of course this leads me to believe that there is someone else out there that is more qualified and was overlooked so McCain could could say, "Look, now I have someone who is youthful, good-looking, and a woman! See! Change! I can do change too! Love me! Why won't you loooooove meeeeeee?!"

Cynicism runs deep this time of year.

The Football

Because I am a giant nerd when it comes to football season, I have decided to start a football blog. Because, you know, this blog is so popular that I'd hate to alienate my massive readership by subjecting them to post after post of football talk. So I've decided to park all of my football related nonsense at http://www.footballpr0n.blogspot.com/.

It's just way too easy to post stuff on the internet.

Joe and Me

This actually happened to me at work the other day:

me to guy with his back to me on cell phone: Sir, I'm sorry . . .

man on cell wheels around, turns out to be Joe Morgan, wearing an enormous grin: HAHA, oh yeah? Hi!

me, completely stunned: Yeah, no, hey, yeah we, uh, don't allow cell phone use in the clubhouse.

Joe: Oooooohhhohohhoooh, haha, I'm sorry! I do go on, don't I?

Me: [blank stare]

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Later, after his round, he ambles into the golf shop. I have a baseball game on. There is nobody else in the shop.

Joe: Ohhh let's see who we got here, oh, wow, the Red Sox. I think they're eventually going to overtake the Rays [wanders over to the cashmere sweaters, starts to rub them] for first place in the AL East, but the Yankees have too much inner turmoil right now and their pitching staff just isn't up to par [heads to the ladies section, examines the visors] with what a real playoff caliber team would need in order to compete for a place in the postseason which is why I wouldn't be surprised . . . although it's funny, cause you know . . . [Joe's friend walks in]

Joe's friend: Ho-kay there, Joe. Time to get a move on.

Joe: Alright then, well it was nice today here thank you. You have a marvelous golf course thanks for having me out then . . . [trails off as he walks out the door]

Aaaaannnnnnd scene.

I Can't Believe I Haven't Seen The Dark Knight Yet

I just can't fucking believe it. Really, it's fucking ridiculous.

Wash'N Fold Changed My Life

If you're anything like me, you have an irrational hatred for doing laundry. Don't get me wrong, I get a thrill out of stepping into a freshly pressed pair of pants as the next guy, but the actual act of doing laundry is so agonizingly boring to me that it nearly brings me to tears every time I reach for the Tide. Generally once a week you can find me under a pile of smelly socks weeping softly. Until today. From now on, I am a Wash'N Fold Man

I know I can be an emotional man who, at times, will exaggerate the importance of an event and just what it means to me. This is not the first time I have said something has changed my life. But I think the Wash'N Fold will legitimately change my life. Check this shit out:



That's my stash. Clean, fresh smelling laundry folded crisply into an easily transportable cube for only $.69/lb! $.69/fucking lb! They're practically giving it away!

The only downside I can think of is the possibility of some weirdo getting friendly with my underwear. Sometimes you have to let certain things slide. This Wash'N Fold (always capitalized, to emphasize reverence) is appoximately .02 miles from my new apartment (third floor, top left bay window. Tour forthcoming), which seals the deal. For the next 12 months, you'll find me at the Wash'N Fold.