Twitter? I Barely Knew Her

After my last tweet (third lifetime tweet), Dallas Cowboys offensive tackle Marc Colombo decided he wanted to follow me on Twitter. Is this something that happens? My tweet said,

"last night i dreamt i went to a secret pizza party with aaron rodgers"

Why did Marc Colombo read this tweet? And why did he decide to start following me? Please help me understand Twitter before I start a Twitter war with Marc Colombo in which I bash his shitty team and his UNFORGIVABLY shitty heavy metal band, Free Reign.

And Now for Some Photos!

Here we have Carmina's fake hockey boyfriend taking in a Knicks game at MSG with one of the Olsen Twins Justin "Beebz" Bieber. This was a bad idea, Henrik. 

Now feast your eyes upon Kurt Warner sporting one of the most spectacular JC/phallic graphic tees we have seen in recent memory. Is that a fighter jet banking hard and up on the far right? Maybe that's how Jesus got to heaven. In an F-22A Raptor.  

There was a Man at the Gym Today who Smelled Like a Meatball Sandwich

And I learned something. I like meatball sandwiches. I like the smell of meatball sandwiches. But as it turns out, I really hate the smell of a person who smells like a meatball sandwich. If I had closed my eyes and not known that the meatball sandwich smell was coming from a person, I would have loved it. But the second I realized it was coming from a person, I was instantaneously nauseated.

To make matters worse, Meatball Sandwich Man had the industrial-power fan cranked up to eleven blowing his meatball odor all over the gym.

San Francisco

Sometimes I feel like everyone I see in this city is in a contest to see who can dress the stupidest.