Everyone Likes Tiger but the Racists

When you have too much media, like, say, America does, people in media tend to say a lot of insane things because they more or less run out of sane things to say. Sports media is particularly vulnerable to this because, first, the passion people have for great sports oftentimes overshadows the history of sport. So when some person or team delivers an incredible performance, the media tend to freak out and coin whatever happened as "one of the greatest of all time." Generally, this is because it was just so fucking exciting to watch and they're all so jazzed up by it that their perspective is eclipsed by passion. And second, people love to be around history. People love to believe they witnessed something that was so uniquely special that they go out of their way to convince themselves that what they saw was one-of-a-kind. Just ask anyone over 50 who lives in Pittsburgh. You'd think Three Rivers seated 275,000 people because every single one of them was there when Franco Harris made the Immaculate Reception. So the media people show up on camera and decide that this is their chance to be the guy who was the media guy when X did something that will become part of unforgettable sports lore. ESPN eats that shit up.

So today Tiger Woods did the following things at America's national championship of golf. The U.S. Open. The Super Bowl of golf.





And then there was one other equally amazing thing that isn't on the YouTube so therefore doesn't actually exist in the annals of history at this time. But it doesn't really matter because most of you don't give a poop about golf so this is useless to watch anyway. But take it from an Ass Pro, this shit was was B-A-N-A-N-A-S. And the greatest thing about it is that Tiger is like 6 weeks removed from arthroscopic knee surgery so every so often when he swings he recoils in pain and then limps down the fairway. It's getting to the point where his caddie is going to have to carry him between shots, Byron Leftwich style.

Anyway, I'm chilling out here watching everyone who has anything to say about the U.S. Open describe how this was possibly the most off the charts round of golf in history. The same golf that has been around for 300 years. I think for sure it was one of the most dramatic rounds in recent history, considering the stage and the condition of Tiger. Watching him swing and then clutch his knee and then make insane birdies and eagles from all over the field while trying to win the most important tournament of the year was amazingly compelling. But considering he didn't even shoot the best score of the day, I hardly think we can start labeling today's round one of the best rounds ever.

Tiger Woods makes everything one million times more exciting than they would normally be. Uh, on a golf course, at least. I bet a Tiger woods amusement park would be sweet too. Or something. But i think it's important to chill out for a minute and just remember that while what he did today was dramatic and exciting, it wasn't really a very good performance. A bounce one way or the other would have made today just another crapola round with Tiger hitting tee shots into concession stands and pegging spectators with wayward iron shots.

Besides, none of the shots he hit today was nearly as awesome as this one. Stick with it. It's worth it.:



Yowza.