So Not Auth

OMG! I totally just saw a bro at Valencia and 26th riding a bicycle with several gears! I tried to snap a photo of this unreal scene but I couldn't dig my vintage 1968 Polaroid Swinger out of my Chrome messenger bag in time cause the seat belt buckle got jammed. 

:  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  

Apparently that Mission Mission post I raged out on yesterday is some sort of inside joke that only like three people get, one of which is the author of the post. According to commenter Kristen we are supposed to understand this joke because grainy photo guy is wearing sandals and shorts together. I know, right? It's like, so obvious how could we NOT be getting it? HAHA. 

AH! But read further and you learn it is all some April Fool's joke that is not even remotely funny. This is why nobody understands it is a joke. Jokes = funny. This post = basically everything Mission Mission posts about anyway. Can't BELIEVE I didn't get that joke!

It's all good, though. MM has come back strong with this fine entry on someone's filthy shoes and hideous socks with strawberries. 

rage. 

The View From My Window

Nothing gets a bunch of stupid Mission hipsters out of bed early on a Saturday like the prospect of trolling through someone else's unwanted clothing. This picture is an aerial view of dozens of tall skinny 26 year old dudes in 6th grader's jeans and girls in pork-pie hats, sifting through four garbage bags of someone's old clothes that were sitting in front of my apartment at 9:45 am.

Not pictured: four fixed-gear bicycles

What I am still trying to figure out is how so many of them wound up here. Was this organized? Did some old, retiring hipster send a message out to some hipster d-list saying, "Come sift through garbage bags full of my old clothes on Saturday at 9:45 sharp." Or were these hipsters drawn to these bags of old clothes like seagulls to old bread, hearing the bags hit the sidewalk from miles away and flocking. We may never know.